Jose Ruiz
11/15/07
Creative Writing
Mr. Leo
6th period
A couple years back, in my old neighborhood there were two boys Anthony and Jojo. They were the closest friends I have seen in my life. They knew each other like the back of their hands. They wee never apart. They both were inserted in the same things. Their friendship was great nothing could destroy that, well that’s what people thought at least.
It all started because of a bike. Not just any bike but an expensive bmx bike. Well Anthony always got everything free, even though he is the ungrateful and bad one out of the two. While Jojo always had to work for everything he wanted, Anthony just did what ever he wanted and then one of his family members will jus give him the thing that Jojo was working so hard to buy. Well one day Jojo saw a bmx rider and he said to Anthony “I’m gonna get myself one of those bikes”. Anthony didn’t believe me because for a good bmx bike they were five hundred dollars or more.
After that day Jojo began saving up what ever change or money he got, but about a week later Anthony’s cousin gave him a bmx bike. After Jojo saw Anthony’s new bike he was jealous so felt like he had to hurry and step his game up so he knew someone with a haro that they were selling, so that same day he bought that haro. Jojo got his knew bike so he wasn’t as jealous anymore.
After Anthony and Jojo got their bikes they were riding everyday non stop. One day Jojo asked Anthony “Why do we have these bikes if we don’t do anything”? Anthony thought about it and then he said “Well let’s learn some tricks!” So they began practicing everyday. They started practicing their bunny hops by hopping on curbs and other little things. They practiced everyday and Anthony was always hopping curbs and other things while Jojo couldn’t really get off the ground. He would always get jealous and get mad because Anthony was always rubbing it in his face and was always saying “you’ll never be better than me”. Jojo got upset but that didn’t stop him from practicing everyday.
Jojo began practicing all the time, even when he wasn’t with Anthony. The more he practiced the better he got until the next time he saw Anthony. Then Anthony saw a change in his riding. Anthony then felt threatened because he wasn’t better anymore, he was equal. They both could do the same things just as good as one another. Jojo kept practicing all the time even when he was not around Anthony and so he got better.
He then was not afraid to do much. In his mind was “Whats the worst that can happen?” He would grind ledges and rails without even thinking and if he fell he would get up and try it again. On the other hand, Anthony was afraid to do everything, even the smallest ledges. That is what made Jojo better because in bmx u can’t be afraid to take a fall and Anthony was always afraid to take a fall this stopped him from trying everything Jojo tried. Anthony always said “I Know I am not ready for that” and he would always do the same old things they would at the same old places since when they first started. Even though Anthony knew he Jojo was now better than him he still told he still tried to tell everybody, including himself that he was better than Jojo.
No matter what new trick Jojo did in front of Anthony he would admit that he wasn’t as good as Jojo until spotted this one flight of steps next to Penns Landing. He was afraid at first but he knew that spot was the perfect place to pull off a tail whip 180 over the steps. So he sat and thought about it for a while and Anthony said “just come on you know you can’t do it.” like he would always say. So Jojo thought for a couple more seconds then he finally did it. A tail whip 360 over the stairs. As soon as he landed the first thing he did was look at Anthony’s face and waited to see what he was going to say. After Jojo pulled that trick it didn’t matter to him if Anthony admit it or not because he proved that he was.
After that Anthony and Jojo stop being friends. That didn’t stop him from practicing everyday. He eventually went pro and became a great pro bmx rider. After every event and at every interview when they asked him for any advice he would always say “Never let anyone tell you, you can’t do something” and walk away humbly.
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4 comments:
Kyle Sanders
November 28, 2007
1.The story kind of grab my attention and the story was ok.
2.Yeah a little bit like when i think jojo does the 360 tail whip.
3. I guest he kind of did.
4.Yeah i think he had a excellent ending i like because he tell that at the end he go pro and how he give advise telling u how people can say u can't do something but u find u can.
5.My favorite part is when he landed the trick that anthony said he couldn't land
6.Just add a little bit more detail and he'll be good
Sumayah Jeter
November 29, 2007
Creative Writing
Leo 7th period
Questions
EXPOSITION:
1. WHEN/WHERE DOES THIS STORY TAKE PLACE? This story takes place a few years ago, and in an old neighborhood.
CONFLICT AND CLIMAX:
1. WHAT PROBLEMS DOES THE CENTRAL CHARACTER FACE? Jojo faces being harassed by his close friend Anthony who tells him he doesn’t know how to ride a BMX bike, the right way.
2. WHEN DO YOU LEARN HOW THE PROBLEM IS WORKED OUT? At the end I find out that the problems work out.
DENOUEMENT:
1. HOW DOES THE STORY END? The story ends by the narrator giving advice in a quote.
2. SUGGEST AN EXTRA SCENE TO STRENGTHEN THE PLOT. One scene that I choose to strengthen is that part where they were at a flight of steps at Penns landing. I think the narrator should have given sensory details so that I can feel like I was there.
CHARACTERIZATION:
1. WHO ARE THE CHARACTERS INVOLVED IN THE STORY? HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE THEIR ROLES? Jojo and Anthony are the two main characters. Jojo, is a type of person who let’s anyone criticize him and he let’s them get away with it. Anthony, on the other hand is very cocky and mean. He does not encourage Jojo he rather make him feel bad about the way his ride the BMX bike.
2. DIRECT CHARACTERIZATION: WHAT DOES THE AUTHOR TELL US "DIRECTLY" ABOUT THE PROTAGONIST (MAIN CHARACTER) FROM HIS OR HER PHYSICAL APPEARANCE AND PERSONALITY? He tells you that Anthony likes to critcize Jojo. The narrator make’s this thought visible by using dialogue and by stating the mean things that Anthony said.
3. INDIRECT CHARACTERIZATION: WHAT DO WE LEARN "INDIRECTLY" ABOUT THE PROTAGONIST FROM WHAT HE OR SHE SAYS (DOES)? WHAT DO WE LEARN ABOUT THE PROTAGONIST FROM WHAT OTHERS SAY ABOUT HIM OR HER? We learn that Jojo has a little bit of confidence in himself.
4. SUGGEST AN ADDED DETAIL TO STRENGTHEN THE DESCRIPTION OF ONE MAJOR OR MINOR CHARACTER. I think that the narrator should have described their appearances
EXPOSITION
The story takes placea couple years ago in Northern Liberties
CONFLICT AND CLIMAX
1.The problem that the central characters faces is being tormented by his friend because he is not as good as a BMX rider than he is..
2. I learn that the problem is worked out at the end of the story when they stop talking.
DENOUEMENT
1. The story ends by JoJo becoming a famous BMX rider.
2.A suggesting of another scene in the plot is that maybe someone getting hurt or baking a bone trying to do one of the stunts.
CHARACTERIZATION
1. The characters involved in this story are JoJo and Anthony. They are the main and only characters in this story.
2The author tells readers that the characters are best friends. He makes it seem like Anthony is a bit mean to JoJo.
3. You can tell that Anthony is competitive because he challenges JoJo in some stunts.
4. A way to strengthen the role of his character, he could and a little bit more dialogue.
-Sheree Page
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