You ever had a day when it seems like everything is going right… then suddenly goes wrong well that’s what happen to me on july,9.2006. I was having the best day of my life with him at the fantastic shopping mall downtown in Miami. He had just got his paycheck so that meant that we were going to shop till we drop at our favorite mall. We were buying things out of every store like sneakers our favorite, then clothes, shoes, basketball jerseys, video games for me and dress suits for him. We were having the most fun we had in a long time so we were going to make it last forever.
Then the time had almost come for us to leave but before we left we had to eat our favorite food in the whole wide world… pizza! Umm the smell of pizza can open our nose no matter how far it was. The sent of the smell was like a magnet to our nostrils. Our favorite was pepperoni. The taste of pepperoni on our taste buds could never taste better when that cheese and that hot and spicy pepperoni pizza hit our tongues.
The whole time while eating we had a conversation on all the things we bought and how we couldn’t wait till we got home to check them out. When we were finally done eating it just that time for the fun to be over and call it a day. While leaving the mall all I could do was say thanks and this was the best time ever to him until he finally told me no problem, no problem, i'm glad you a nice time and you know will do it again sometime. When we got to the car we put all our bags in the trunk and got in. Soon as I got in the car I put in our favorite old school cd the temptations and we listened to that until we were almost home. Then I suddenly had a feeling to listen to another cd. Then looking through the cd’s I found the one I wanted to listen to and just as I was putting it in that’s when it happen…
He slammed the breaks as hard as he could but there is nothing you can do when a car is getting chased by the cops and going ninety in the rain and coming full force towards you. He turned the car right but then we started sliding straight towards the car and all I could say was dad!!!
Keep your head down!
He yelled.
That’s when I went into the air bag and he went through the win shield landing face first on the concrete smashing his face leaving his funeral a closed cascade. Cuts, scares, bruises, and life long marks on my face and body that will never go away but it’s ok though I’ve learned my lesson of pain and heartache. Now that’s was just round one of my life line that I beat lets see if I can take on round two but this time I’m wearing a seat belt.
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3 comments:
EXPOSITIONS
1. WHEN/WHERE DOES THIS STORY TAKE PLACE?
The story took place at Fantastic Mall in Miami on July 9, 2006
2. WHAT HAS HAPPENED BEFORE?
CONFLICT AND CLIMAX
1. WHAT PROBLEMS DOES THE CENTRAL CHARACTER FACE?
The problem that the central character faces is when he and his dad got into the car accident.
2. WHEN DO YOU LEARN HOW THE PROBLEM IS WORKED OUT?
I don’t think the problem gets worked out because in the story the author jumps into conclusions without many details.
DENOUEMENT
1. HOW DOES THE STORY END?
The story end by the author saying if he survives in one accident he can go through it again and that he’ll be ready for it any day.
2. SUGGEST AN EXTRA SCENE TO STRENGTHEN THE PLOT.
To strengthen the plot, the author can add what happens after the car accident and what had happen to the person who was speeding and the police was chasing him.
CHARACTERIZATION
1. WHO ARE THE CHARACTERS INVOLVED IN THE STORY? HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE THEIR ROLES?
It did not name anyone specific but I knew that there was a son and father.
2. DIRECT CHARACTERIZATION: WHAT DOES THE AUTHOR TELL US "DIRECTLY" ABOUT THE PROTAGONIST (MAIN CHARACTER) FROM HIS OR HER PHYSICAL APPEARANCE AND PERSONALITY?
The author did not mention anything about the appearance of the main character.
3. INDIRECT CHARACTERIZATION: WHAT DO WE LEARN "INDIRECTLY" ABOUT THE PROTAGONIST FROM WHAT HE OR SHE SAYS (DOES)? WHAT DO WE LEARN ABOUT THE PROTAGONIST FROM WHAT OTHERS SAY ABOUT HIM OR HER?
That he appreciate his dad a lot while his father brings him shopping. After the car accident he doesn’t feel sad or anything but the accident made him tougher.
4. SUGGEST AN ADDED DETAIL TO STRENGTHEN THE DESCRIPTION OF ONE MAJOR OR MINOR CHARACTER.
The author could have put a little description of how the main character acts or look also on the father too.
- Dina
PEER RESPONSE ACTIVITY
BEGIN THE PROCESS OF REVISION BY EXAMINING THE STRUCTURE OF YOUR STORY. THE FOLLOWING PEER RESPONSE ACTIVITY CAN HELP YOU ANALYZE AND RESPOND TO A STORY'S PLOT. HAVE EACH PERSON IN YOUR GROUP RESPOND TO THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS IN YOUR "COMMENTS" SECTION.
EXPOSITION
1.WHEN/WHERE DOES THIS STORY TAKE PLACE?
The story takes place at the mall in Miami and inside of the main character’s dad car.
2.WHAT HAS HAPPENED BEFORE?
Skip.
CONFLICT AND CLIMAX
1.WHAT PROBLEMS DOES THE CENTRAL CHARACTER FACE?
The main character’s dad got hurt in a car crash.
2. WHEN DO YOU LEARN HOW THE PROBLEM IS WORKED OUT?
The problem did not get worked out.
DENOUEMENT
1.HOW DOES THE STORY END?
The boy’s father dies in the crash.
2.SUGGEST AN EXTRA SCENE TO STRENGTHEN THE PLOT.
You should add a scene with the boy’s father in the hospital or whatever happened after that.
CHARACTERIZATION
1.WHO ARE THE CHARACTERS INVOLVED IN THE STORY? HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE THEIR ROLES?
The boy, his father, the cops, and a criminal are the characters involved.
2. DIRECT CHARACTERIZATION: WHAT DOES THE AUTHOR TELL US "DIRECTLY" ABOUT THE PROTAGONIST (MAIN CHARACTER) FROM HIS OR HER PHYSICAL APPEARANCE AND PERSONALITY?
The boy and his father like shoes.
3. INDIRECT CHARACTERIZATION: WHAT DO WE LEARN "INDIRECTLY" ABOUT THE PROTAGONIST FROM WHAT HE OR SHE SAYS (DOES)? WHAT DO WE LEARN ABOUT THE PROTAGONIST FROM WHAT OTHERS SAY ABOUT HIM OR HER?
The main character loves his father.
4. SUGGEST AN ADDED DETAIL TO STRENGTHEN THE DESCRIPTION OF ONE MAJOR OR MINOR CHARACTER.
Describe what the main character and the father look like in appearance. Also add a little more imagery.
By:Diamond Rosario
EXPOSITION
1. WHEN/WHERE DOES THIS STORY TAKE PLACE?
A mall in Miami.
CONFLICT AND CLIMAX
1. WHAT PROBLEMS DOES THE CENTRAL CHARACTER FACE?
The main character and his dad get into a car crash.
2. WHEN DO YOU LEARN HOW THE PROBLEM IS WORKED OUT?
It doesn’t really get resolved.
DENOUEMENT
1. HOW DOES THE STORY END?
The main character believing that he learned a lesson on pain and heartache.
2. SUGGEST AN EXTRA SCENE TO STRENGTHEN THE PLOT.
A scene showing what happened at the funeral.
CHARACTERIZATION
1. WHO ARE THE CHARACTERS INVOLVED IN THE STORY?
The main character and his dad.
HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE THEIR ROLES?
The main character was a son and the dad dies.
2. DIRECT CHARACTERIZATION: WHAT DOES THE AUTHOR TELL US "DIRECTLY" ABOUT THE PROTAGONIST (MAIN CHARACTER) FROM HIS OR HER PHYSICAL APPEARANCE AND PERSONALITY?
He liked pizza.
3. INDIRECT CHARACTERIZATION: WHAT DO WE LEARN "INDIRECTLY" ABOUT THE PROTAGONIST FROM WHAT HE OR SHE SAYS (DOES)?WHAT DO WE LEARN ABOUT THE PROTAGONIST FROM WHAT OTHERS SAY ABOUT HIM OR HER?
He enjoyed spending time with his father.
4. SUGGEST AN ADDED DETAIL TO STRENGTHEN THE DESCRIPTION OF ONE MAJOR OR MINOR CHARACTER.
Have the main character be more depressed about the death of his father.
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