Sunday, October 21, 2007

~*ASMIRA.L.TULL*~

MY FRIST AIR PLANE RIDE





This is the craziest time of my life, but it was also the best time of my life. I’m telling you that this was the most excited time that a person could ever experience in they life. Most people say this never happened to them. So you tell me what you think. So go a grab a chair and take a seat.

It all started when I was going to the 6 grade. I had just graduated from the 5 grade. I had graduated in June, but this all happened in July. So it was in the summer time; my parent’s decided to take me and my brother on vacation for our graduation. This was the first time my brother and I graduated in the same year. We never thought that something like this would ever happen.

So we were leaving to go, but my mom and dad hadn’t told us where we were going. When we asked them where we were going, they said, “Ya’ll see when we get there.”
When we arrived my heart dropped immediately. I had never seen anything this big before in my life! There was this big airplane sitting there waiting for us and everybody else to get on it. Then I asked my mom if we were getting on this plane, and she said ‘‘what you mean are we getting on that plane? I know you aren’t scared! ’’

This was my first time ever getting on a plane. I said ‘‘I’m not getting on this plane I don’t care about what ya’ll say.”
Then my brother said ‘‘remember when you was standing in that line to get on that roller coaster and you was so scared, you thought that you was going to throw up’’.
Then I said “yeah why.”
Then he said “once you got up there what happen,”
I said “I was not scared any more because it was not scary once I got on.”
He said “ok you scared now; it’s not gone scary once you get on.”

I said “I will get on the plane, but if it is scary I am never getting on a plane ever again.”
Once I got in the plane, I was still scared. When it took off, I said “what if the plane crush and we all die what I am going do then.”
Once we were in the air way above the clouds, I was not scared any more. I had opened my shade on the plane, and I was looking at all the pretty clouds.

I said “I was scared to get on an air plane an it was not even scary.”
My brother said “I told you that you were not going to be scared you did all that for nothing.”
When we told my family about what happened they said “you are a loser.”
Then I said “I don’t care ya’ll is different people from me.”







BY: ASMIRA .L. TULL

3 comments:

Leo Mullen said...

GO ASMIRA TULL YOUR STORY IS ALL THAT



LOVE BUNNY

Leo Mullen said...

ii B3li3Ve ii CaN Flii....LOL....Ya sTorri iZzA T3N
LuV,sH4ii

Leo Mullen said...

1) In the beginning, I really like that she tells that it was the craziest time of her life and that it was her best time of her life.
2) I remember two specific examples of vivid details. One was when she told me about the big plane waiting outside for her and all the pretty clouds when she was in the air.
3) She uses simple and direct verbs such as “grab a chair”.
4) I would say that she does have an inventive ending. She ends it by telling about her experiences in the plane and she overcomes her fear.
5) My favorite part is when her brother told her about when she over came her fear of rollercoaster because that made her overcome her fear of flying.
6) A way that this narrative can be better is telling me more about her experiences during the flight. I would really want to hear that.

U wrote a banger.-Dan