Tuesday, October 23, 2007

My Allergic Reaction To Seafood- Tanay Murray, 2nd Period

Who would have thought just by me eating seafood could have been my last breath of air? The year of 1991, I was only two years old. I could never forget how much I’d love crabs. My parents would always buy crabs in the summertime, but some people love eating them in the winter. I could never forget my family reunions we’d have in Richmond, Virginia. My family members could reunite with each other and stuff their faces with crabs and soul food all day until they were full. But all that changed when I became much older.

One day my mother, sister and I had a taste for crabs. It was the year of 2002 and the summer had just begun. When my mother and I were driving to pick up the order of crabs, she told me I could have as much as I wanted. I was so excited when she told me because my mom usually let me eat two or three crabs. There were many times I would hate going with my mother to pick up the seafood because she would always buy the live crabs and cook them once we arrived home.

As we were driving home, my mother decided to put the crabs in the back seat with me. I asked her to put them in the trunk instead. But she wanted me to keep an eye out for them, just incase they would try to crawl out. I looked at her with a confused expression and when to the passenger’s side.

As we arrived home, we immediately started eating the crabs. When I was finished, my throat started to irritate me and I began feeling sick. My fingers and face started to swell and my skin was itching all over and forming hives. Next thing I know, my throat started to swell and I couldn’t breathe well. I quickly ran to the bathroom and took a bath, thinking it would stop the irritation. But it only made it worse. The hives started to form on my hands, face, and neck. I told my mother I wasn’t breathing well and asked her to take me to the hospital. She said no and told me to go rest. I was very disappointed that she didn’t take me but I did what she said and fell asleep. The very next morning, my fingers and mouth went down but I still had trouble breathing.

Even though I still like eating seafood, I would never want to experience that again. Feeling like you need an oxygen tank by your side wasn’t the type of situation I wanted to be in. As of now, my allergic reaction to seafood has worsened. I can’t be around seafood because the smell still irritates my throat and makes me vomit.

3 comments:

Leo Mullen said...

christina j.
i liked the overall story but it could have been more detail i didn't really like the opening it was very normal i wouldnt really read it again because because like u i don't like seafood so your story wouldnt intrest me it was alrigh though

Leo Mullen said...

christina j.
i liked the overall story but it could have been more detail i didn't really like the opening it was very normal i wouldnt really read it again because because like u i don't like seafood so your story wouldnt intrest me it was alrigh though

Leo Mullen said...

Shana Earley
Creative writing
Period 2



Peer Review Questions

#1. What about the opening grabs your attention and draws you into the narrative?
The thing that grabs me about the opening is how she talks about taking her last breathe and to me that means death. This makes me curious.

#2. Does the author use specific, vivid phrases that enables you to see what is going on rather than the author just telling you? Cite three examples.
I didn’t cite any use of vivid phrases.

#3. Does the author use simple, direct, and vivid verbs? Cite three examples.
She does use simple, direct, and vivid verbs but she doesn’t use many. Examples: “I quickly ran to the bathroom and took a bath, thinking it would stop the irritation.”

#4. Does the narrative have an inventive ending? Explain.
I don’t agree with her ending. I think that it could have been better. I would wanna know exactly how she discovered that the crabs made her sick, if she didn’t go to the hospital.

#5. What was your favorite part?
I like the part about how her mother told her to watch the crabs so that none of them would get out.

#6. How could this narrative be improved?
She could have used more dialogue.