Sumayah Jeter
October 22, 2007
Creative Writing
Leo
“Today you will be doing five laps, three suicides, and twenty-five lay-ups each. Ladies run, run! Offense sells tickets defense wins games,” My coach shouts.
“She always makes is run. When game time comes, we will be too tired to play!” We sighed.
“Well if you want it to be like that then .........how about.........I double everything. How does that sound? I bet you will not say anything like that again,” She replied.
“Why do we think out loud? Next time, I know to keep my mouth closed!” I mumbled sadly.
“Now you may proceed to the baseline, ladies” she said with a soft, calm, warmth, voice, but yet deceiving.
Since I am the only girl on the boy’s basketball team, there were lots of conflicts. But, at the same time this challenge is a fun adventure. Monday is tryouts. There are about 30 who people who are here waiting for their skills and talents to be noticed. While waiting for the coach to arrive, we stand tall, as if we are hawks waiting on its prey to make the wrong move, so he can slide down to the surface and attack it for lunch. Inside this box there are many characteristics that stand out the most in my memory. It is a big, hot, sticky, and it smelled like onions, feet and corn chips in this box. With basketballs lying around, five courts, a beige, tan colored floor and a logo, is stamp right in the middle of the half court line. I was nervous, but yet confident because I would not let my fears, control my skills and techniques. But no matter what happens I will remain at a calm level so I can maintain a good vote. I was an ice cube, in a tall glass of lemonade. I kept everything at a cool level. First, we have to run five laps around the gym. We have to do three suicides, next, stretching. We are like rubber bands, out there on the courts.
Finally, the fun part has come. Getting to shoot the ball is the most exciting part practice. We split up into two teams. Each team would go to two different sides of the gym, to perform a lay-up line. This is to practice our lay-up skills. I knew most of all the fundamentals in which you have to know to play basketball, but I have a lot to learn. My left hand is very weak, and this fault makes it difficult for me to make left hand lay-ups. The tryout was going on for about two weeks.
Around the end of the second week, the coach posts up the paper. This paper consists a list of names of the people who make up the team. I notice that everyone is at her door pushing and shoving to see if their names are on the list. The front of her door is like an amusement park. People are pushing and shoving to get on the most fierce, exciting, tallest rollercoaster, in the park. When I see my name on the list, I am relieved. I began a conversation with my new fellow teammates, when I notice some people are disappointed and some are bank robbers. Happy, at the fact that, they got what they wanted. When the following week arrives, and fun time is over. We have practice two times a week; Tuesdays and Thursdays. She makes us run, do lay-ups shoot, suicides and laps. It is very tiring but yet but yet a challenge. The bad part of this challenge is when we make her mad. That is not a good thing to do. When we make her mad it is double trouble. We were overwhelmed that we finally received our jerseys. The jerseys were red, white and blue and the number was on the back and our team name is the Rush Patriots; we honored the name with ambition. We were very lucky to have this team, as an after school activity.
Our very first game is against Farrell Middle School. When we arrived at their school we were prepared to ball. Unfortunately they weren’t. The game got so crazy that their teammates start cheering for us. We are wining by a lot. Point after point, shoot after shoot. Even our wildest teammate is playing the right way. Everything is going good, up until the next day when some people that caught Septa home, comes and tell me things that were said at yesterday’s game. I heard through the grapevine that people were saying bad things, but it is very sad because most of the people that were saying things were the ones who can not play, if their life depended on it. When I confronted them, they all acted like they didn’t know what I am talking about. Many problems expanded. Friendships are ruined. I was so mad to the point were I was going to quit the team. But I kept my head up and I kept stepping and everything went great. Our record was 5-3 (five wins, three lost). We restored our friendships and we manage to get everything back to the way things use to be.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
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1 comment:
I’d like to know more about the trash talking at the end of your story. Was it about you?
4= Strongly
3= Mostly
2= Somewhat
1= Rarely
The opening of your narrative grabs the reader’s attention, draws him or her into the story, and does so in an inventive way. 3
The details that you use throughout your narrative are specific, vivid, and appeal to the senses. 4
The ending effectively wraps up your narrative and has elements of one of the following: surprise, humor, sadness, wonder, anger, frustration, horror, etc. 2
The narrative is representative of the culmination of skills you learned with respect to writing narrative. 3
Conventions
+5= No grammar, punctuation, or spelling errors;
0= Five errors
-5= Ten or more errors
-5
80%
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