A Trip to New York
It was a nice morning, and it was probably around 7:00am, my friends and I got to the school extra early so that we could have had the best seats in the bus, but it turn out that the teachers had fronts seats all the time. So eventually it was time for us to depart, and to go on to New York City like it was plan. But most of the students were not there yet. So the teacher said she was going to be nice and wait for them to arrive. But they just wouldn’t come so she said, “Let’s go and they just won’t get their money back, because it’s their fault that they didn’t arrive on time”. So as soon as we were going to set off, they all showed up! As they were coming up inside the bus, they looked like a banch of honey bees, which are ready to attack. But finally we set off, but be were really late! So that’s how it all began!!!
As we arrive in New York City my teacher had a worry face, I suppose it was because we were really late. Everyone in there had notice because they stared to talk among themselves about the satiation. After a little while, my teacher Ms. Caucci told us in a worry voice again that we would probably had to pay for our tickets, once arrive to the island. We would most likely do this because the time for the actual timing had past. So it was a good thing that we all had money, so we said that we had no problem if we had to pay. I mean after all we were already there and we had enough money to pay and had the tour. I was so glad that when we finally solve that problem, because I really was looking forward to not just going to the city, but to actually going some place important in the city!
So as my teacher had told us, they said that if wanted the tour we had to pay, and that about the money that was already paid that they would talk about some other time. I guess that after all the school got the money back and so did we, and we didn’t lose our money either. But most important we got to do what we had gone to do there, and we all had so much fun!!!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Maribel,
You would do better by “showing” me what you did on the trip by using sensory details, rather than “telling” me what happened.
4= Strongly
3= Mostly
2= Somewhat
1= Rarely
The opening of your narrative grabs the reader’s attention, draws him or her into the story, and does so in an inventive way. 1
The details that you use throughout your narrative are specific, vivid, and appeal to the senses. 2
The ending effectively wraps up your narrative and has elements of one of the following: surprise, humor, sadness, wonder, anger, frustration, horror, etc. 2
The narrative is representative of the culmination of skills you learned with respect to writing narrative. 2
Conventions
+5= No grammar, punctuation, or spelling errors;
0= Five errors
-5= Ten or more errors
111111111111111
-5
68%
Post a Comment