What you do in the dark, comes out in the light

Cassandra Thomas

It was a hot summer day and I was stuck in my room in a load of shock. How could I possibly tell my parents were all that ran through my head? My palms began to sweat and my head spun in circles the more I thought about it. Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months and before I knew it, it had already been two months since I discovered that I might be pregnant. I walked around in denial as I kept telling myself that my menstrual cycle was just late. But as the days continued to go by the more the reality sunk in and I knew that I had to tell my mom and dad. I prepared a speech in my head and the more I rehearsed the speech the more confident I became. When I decided to tell them I could not gather the strength to walk into their room. It felt as though something or someone were holding my feet down tightly so that I could not move. At that very moment I knew that telling my parents that I was pregnant would be the hardest thing that I ever had to do. Having parents with goals for their children and high standards made me feel like I was the one of all four of my sisters to let them down. Knowing that is what stopped me from telling them.
Laughter filled the down stairs of my house as my best friend and I played a card game called casino. We were in deep conversation when my father interrupted —“Greedy”. The tone in his voice immediately sent me running up the stairs and the smile that was on my face a moment ago formed into a frown. When I reached my parents bedroom where they sat patiently awaiting for my arrival I noticed that my father had a very disturbed look on his face. “Greedy your mother and I have a bad feeling”, my heart began to race because my gut told me that they knew I was pregnant. Suddenly my father asked me the question that I dreaded to hear, “ Are you pregnant?” I hesitated to respond because I felt like that was the time to tell them the truth but the word no managed to roll of my tongue. My father said, “ Okay than you should have no problem taking a pregnancy test and I responded “no”. When my father left the room I returned down stairs to my best friend but when I came down stairs she was gone. I was sitting on my sofa trying to figure out how could I manage to be stupid enough to be in a situation that I vowed to never get in. Then suddenly my father came storming through the front door. My father gave me this unforgettable look and then said, “Follow me”. I found myself in the bathroom taking a pregnancy test while my parents waited outside the bathroom for the results. When the results of the pregnancy test popped up positive I felt ashamed and disappointed at myself all over again. That’s when my parents sat me down for the conversation that was way over due. But to my surprise my parents understood and my mother explained to me how she was in the same situation at the age of sixteen. They told me that they were disappointed but they allowed me to know that it could of happened to anyone. It took a while for things to get back to normal between me and my family members. Anytime I was around my parents there was always dead silence for a week or two every since. From time to time my mother and father would get mad at me about something and bring up the situation with me being pregnant. Although I always had the support of my friends I was still uncomfortable around the people I let down, my family. I remember always wearing big shirts around the house so my parents and my sisters would not stir at my stomach as it began to poke out throughout my shirt taking a big round shape, similar to a basketball. I always isolated my self in my room because I was ashamed and did not want to be judge by everyone in my house and did not want to hear everyone put downs. At the time I was an emotional wreck and anything could trigger my feelings. I use to fear that whenever I got into an argument with my sisters that they would throw my pregnancy in my face, but the total opposite my sisters were supportive. At that point I discovered that I should have just been straightforward with my parents from the jump. When its all said and done their going to be the ones helping me considering the fact that this will be my first child. The world was lifted off my shoulders because I knew that I had my parent’s support as well as my boyfriend and now I was able to be at peace and prepare for the arrival of my unborn child.