My Guardian Angel
Life comes at us fast leaving us with memorable moments, people who touched our lives and life learning experiences. Here is one of those people who left an impact on my life. God blessed me to have a women in my life named Alberta Jones. She was only in my life just a moment because God wanted her back. She was my mother. I never really knew her, but she always knew she was going to die. She wrote me a letter that my dad gave to me when I was 13. Some things I remember about her was her eyes. Her eyes when she looked at me were so warm and soft. I felt so safe looking into them. I also remember her voice. She had the sweetest voice. The sound of it could calm a wild dog. I remember how she would rock me in her arms. Those things and more I could never forget even if I was only one years old because my heart wouldn't let me.
The day my mother was ripped out of my life was an unforgettable experience. I remember my mother hovering over me and a man stabbing her. When he left I was lying next ti my mom in a pool of blood with my mom smiling at me. My dad rushing in grabbed me and called 911. Later as I got older I found out she was protecting me from her ex-boyfriend I really don't understand that part but she was stabbed 37 times.
My mother is my hero not only did she give me life, she saved my life. She truly was my guardian angel. I'll never understand why God had to take her before I had the chance to say good-bye but because of this experience I learned never take anything or anyone for granted. To everyone who is reading this essay please don't take your parents for granted because life is too short and you never know when you have to say goodbye.
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6 comments:
Shana Earley
Creative writing
Period 2
Peer Review Questions
#1. What about the opening grabs your attention and draws you into the narrative?
I love this opening because it gives you a lesson about life. Her opening grabs me in a more emotional way.
#2. Does the author use specific, vivid phrases that enables you to see what is going on rather than the author just telling you? Cite three examples.
She uses a lot of vivid phrases to describe he mother. Examples:” Her eyes when she looked at me were so warm and soft.” “She would rock me in her arms.” “even if I was only one years old because my heart wouldn't let me.”
#3. Does the author use simple, direct, and vivid verbs? Cite three examples.
She does use simple, direct, and vivid verbs. Examples: Calm, Ripped, and Hovering.
#4. Does the narrative have an inventive ending? Explain.
Her ending does have an inventive. She even gives you some wise advice that everyone can use.
#5. What was your favorite part?
I liked how she described her mother and how comforting she was to her.
#6. How could this narrative be improved?
Maybe she could have used dialogue, but her narrative was also good without it
YOUR STORY IS A VERY GREAT STORY THIS STORY REALLY TOUCHED MY HEART THIS REALLY HAVE ME THINKING ABOUT MY LIFE AND MY PARENTS AND YOU HELPED ME ALOT WITH YOU WRITING THIS STORY SO THANK YOU
ASMIRA.L.TULL 6 PERIOD
HEY CHRIS I LIKE YOUR STORY...I KNOW IT WAS HURT LOSE N YOUR MOTHER. IM SURE YOUR MOTHER IS WATCH N NOW AND VERY PROUD OF U.
NICE ESSAY =]
TANYA: HEY CHRIS I LIKE UR STORY. I LIKED YOUR ENDING ABOUT PARENTS UR RIGHT WE ALL SHOULD LOVE N RESPECT OUR PARENTS U MADE ME LOVE MY PARENTS EVEN MORE
1.yes, The opening of her essay grabbed my action. I liked how she started talking about life and people that touched our life.
2.yes she uses vivid phrases like she would rock me in her arms. And she had the sweetest voice.
3.yes she does use simple direct verbs like. Calm and wild etc.
4.yes the author has a very nice inventive ending. It was very tough n to me it really made you think never take nothing for granted and respect your parents.
5. My favorite part of her essay was the ending.
6. What she can improve on is more detail. I would like to know how is she as of now.
Christina,
I’m so sorry that you had to experience something like this. I can’t imagine losing a parent, much less to murder. You say, “She wrote me a letter that my dad gave to me when I was 13.” What was the letter about?
4= Strongly
3= Mostly
2= Somewhat
1= Rarely
The opening of your narrative grabs the reader’s attention, draws him or her into the story, and does so in an inventive way. 2
The details that you use throughout your narrative are specific, vivid, and appeal to the senses. 3
The ending effectively wraps up your narrative and has elements of one of the following: surprise, humor, sadness, wonder, anger, frustration, horror, etc. 2
The narrative is representative of the culmination of skills you learned with respect to writing narrative. 3
Conventions
+5= No grammar, punctuation, or spelling errors;
0= Five errors
-5= Ten or more errors
-2
78%
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