Heartbroken.
She is the only one I would wake up for every morning. She is the only one that I would do anything for. But then why Would she leave me? Didn’t I do everything for her? What did I do wrong? The way she did it and what she said hurts me the most.
In the morning we planned on hanging out together. I went over to her house being happy to see her. She opened the door and had a blank face on her. I immediately felt a feeling of worry and uncertainty between her and myself by just the fave she made. “Hey, what’s wrong honey?” I asked her
“Nothing Dan, come in.” She said in a lifeless voice. I went inside and I saw her best friend. I knew this was a bad sign because usually when we’re together, we were alone. I kind of had a feeling that I would happen.
She told us that e were going out to eat at Chinatown. She went up to her room with her friend getting ready and dressing up. She told me to wait in her living room. While I was waiting very patiently, I thought about why she had such a blank face. All these thoughts came racing through my mind. Would she break up with me? I was very worried about that.
I remember the ride on the bus and how awkward it was. She didn’t talk to me a bit. I just looked at the ground wondering what was wrong. We finally arrived at our destination. We went into the restaurant and it was a cool, relaxing place. We went and sat at a table. She sat next to me and her friend across from her. It was so quiet between us that u could even hear a pin drop. I tried to break the silence by telling a joke.” Hey, what’s the deal with Asian people and math? What, is it there language?”
“What?” She said in an aggravated voice.
“Nothing, nothing,” So after we ate, we went on a quiet bus ride back home. We went to the park, trying to have some fun. We sat on the swings together and we finally talked to each other. “What’s wrong?” I asked.
“ What do you mean?”
“ Your just so quiet today. Did I do something?”
“No Dan, I’ve just been thinking about things.”
“ Thinking about what?”
“Just things. But you don’t have to worry about anything.”
“Worry? I wasn’t worried about anything.” After that I walked her home. We were holding hands and talking about things we usually talk about. I walked her home to her doorstep, gave her a kiss on her cheek, and asked her a question. “Can I call you tonight?”
“ Yeah, of course Dan.” When I got home, I directly went to bed thinking about her. I didn’t her to break up with me so I thought about not calling her at all. I did end up calling her wanting to know why she was so quiet. “Hey, how are you doing?”
“Fine. You?”
“Good.”
“Dan, I have to talk to you.”
“About what?”
“Dan, we have to break up.”
“What? I thought everything was great between us.”
“Dan it is, but its just that there’s guy who I have been talking a lot to recently and I think I like him.”
“But who is he?”
“ It doesn’t matter who he is?”
“But we still can be together, even if you do like him.”
“ No we cant Dan, I’m sorry.” She then hanged up on me. I was heartbroken. After that happened, I couldn’t sleep or eat for weeks. It was even hard for me to wake up every morning knowing that she didn’t want me anymore.
Still to this day, it breaks my hear every time I think about it. We both still talk a lot and hang out. I still think that me and her will get back together but she always tell me that we won’t in a jokingly way. I just still love her.
Monday, October 22, 2007
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4 comments:
YOU NUT ASS NIGGA
1.What grabs my attention is when he said that she is the only girl he would get up early in the morning for and how she hurt him
2. Yes the author use specific vivid phrases, “she did it and what she said hurts me the most”, In the morning we planned on hanging out together and I went over to her house being happy to see her.
3.
4. Yes the author use inventive ending when he said that the would get back together.
5. My favorite part was when the jock Dan told to make them laugh.
6. I don’t think the author need to improve this was a very great story
1.What grabs my attention is when he said that she is the only girl he would get up early in the morning for and how she hurt him
2. Yes the author use specific vivid phrases, “she did it and what she said hurts me the most”, In the morning we planned on hanging out together and I went over to her house being happy to see her.
3.
4. Yes the author use inventive ending when he said that the would get back together.
5. My favorite part was when the jock Dan told to make them laugh.
6. I don’t think the author need to improve this was a very great story
Peer Review Questions:
1. What about the opening grabs your attention and draws you into the narrative? The thing that grabs me is when he starts talking about the person but he doesn’t say whom it is he keeps you in suspense.
2. Does the author use specific, vivid phrases that enable you to see what is going on rather than the author just telling you? Cite three examples. She did it and what she said hurts me the most, in the morning we planned on hanging out together, I was heartbroken
3. Does the narrative have an inventive ending? Explain. Yes he use an inventive ending because he say how he still love her an how he still hang out with her
4. What was your favorite part? My favorite part was when he tried to tell the joke but they didn’t get it.
5. How could this narrative be improved? Don’t criticize, but rather give helpful suggestions. I don’t think he need to improve anything the story was great and it was feeling full.
~*ASMIRA.L.TULL*~
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