Tuesday, October 23, 2007

DEZZIE GOES TO JAIL (DESIREE DAVIS 2ND PERIOD)

“Roosevelt” we yelled as we walked up the block to arrive at a school that wasn’t ours. The walk was a little hike so I decided to take a shortcut. My friend Calina was right by my side the whole time. Calina lived right across the street from me. She was around the same size as me and had a chocolate comp lection. She was the goofy one out of the group besides me of course. Calina was my right hand and we were inseparable.
So we arrived at the school Ada Luis middle school and all the teachers were holding there students back. Waiting for us to pass them by which we hadn’t planned on doing. Next to us walked the school security talking trash trying to lead us in the direction of a neighborhood that they thought was so bad. Next thing I knew the cops arrived and everyone started running. I ran around the car and this big cop grabbed me. The cop wasn’t like the others he was so fat he had to weigh over three hundred pounds. He must have been stressing that day because when he grabbed me he grabbed me hard. He threw me in the car and all eyes were on me. I mouthed to Calina for her to call my mom. About three minutes later two other girls were thrown in the car with me. The two girls were familiar to me. One name was Jasmine she was in the same grade as me. The other girl name was Fantasia. She was the size of a five year old literally. She had a small squeaky voice and always kept braids. The funniest thing about Fantasia was that she was the littlest one with the biggest stick.
While in the car all eyes on the three of us. A lady even was trying to take pictures of us for a website, but I wasn’t having it. I covered my face and put my head down not wanting her to get what she came for. The door closed and both cops hopped in the front seat and rode off. As the car pulled off my stomach dropped to my feet. I had never been in this predicament before. We where riding and this big ball of heat just hit me. I began sweating like I was running a race. I know I hadn’t ran from the cops so why was I sweating. I began taking my shirt off knowing I had on a wife beater under it. Then my ponytail started to stick to my neck and that’s when all hell broke loose. I started cursing and lying ,cursing and lying until I got the air I desperately needed. This ride felt like I was going to else where than Philadelphia it seemed so long.
Then their was this crack. I will never forget this crack because it saved my life. This was the only spot in the car that had air and only I had it. I put my face to that crack and never moved. The air from the police front windows kept blowing in my face it felt so good. I remember thinking to myself maybe I will live after all. The only thing this crack did not take away was the two cops yelling. They were so mean telling us how we messed up their plans for the day and was going to pay for this all later. I don’t know about the other girls but I had the crack by my side and what they were saying sure didn’t matter anymore.
We finally arrived at the station and we were directed to walk on a straight line with our arms behind our backs. I walked looking around at everyone surrounding me. Then the cop asked us to sit down on this hard slippery bench. There they were going to call us up one by one to call our parents so they could come and pick us up. When I heard parents that’s when it hit me. I went the whole ride up here not thinking about what my mom would have to say. I went this whole ride without making up my story that I would tell her, not only the cops. Then my name was called “Desiree Davis” I was in my thoughts so I didn’t answer the first time but he called me again. I arrived at the officers desk and he began asking me questions as to why I was at the school and was I ready for the trouble I was about to get in. I answered saying “I didn’t do anything.”
The officer picked up the pone and said he was going to call my parents and they have an hour to pick me up or they were going to take me to the Youth Study Center. I hoped and prayed they didn’t call my dad. The officer begun to dial the number and put the phone on speaker. “ Hello is this Desiree Davis father?” I just put my head down my dad was always late for everything. “Yes ” my dad answered with the who is this voice. I just put my head down, I knew I was going to jail. The cop continued telling my dad all that happened. I didn’t hear much because I went blank but my dads last words scared me to death, “Oh really I m on my way.” My dad never dad never said he was on his way before maybe that’s why he’s always late.
My dad arrived mad as hell yelling and screaming at me. I couldn’t cry or say anything back to him I jus listened. “What the f*** would you do this S*** for?” “I cant believe this Desiree.” The whole ride home this is all I herd. I never felt so embarrassed in my life. When we arrived on my block everyone was walking up to me asking me what happened I didn’t understand how everyone knew and didn’t go to my school.. I ignored everyone and went in my house. My mom was sitting right on the couch as I entered staring at me she didn’t know what to say she just asked, “Did you do it?” Of course I said no. Then she said go to your room.
That whole week everyone was calling me wanting to know what happened. When I went to school the next day everyone laughed about it. It really just made me more popular but I told everyone, “Don’t think its sweet being in that predicament.” “It was crazy going through what I went through even though the beginning was fun.”
This was a crazy experience I did go to court and beat my case but every time I see someone in a cop car I just shake my head. I still don’t understand how people could want to go through this experience all the time. It scared me.

7 comments:

Leo Mullen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Leo Mullen said...

Girl you are crazy.I know Cleo got you for that one
Shana

Leo Mullen said...

1. What about the opening grabs your attention and draws you into the narrative?
The part of the opening that grab my attention was when you started off with a crowd screaming a schools name.

2. Does the author use specific, vivid phrases that enable you to see what is going on rather than the author just telling you? Cite three examples.
When you said that the girl looked like the size of a five year old rather than saying she was small.

3. Does the author use simple, direct, and vivid verbs? Cite three examples.
When you said that the cop was fat, and when you talked about how your friend was so goofy.

4. Does the narrative have an inventive ending? Explain.
your ending was good because it was a lot different from any other ending.

5. What was your favorite part?
My favorite part was when the cop grabbed you and you said he must of had a bad day.

6. How could this narrative be improved? Don’t criticize, but rather give helpful suggestions.
none

Leo Mullen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Leo Mullen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Chardae said...

Chardae Jenkins

Peer Review Questions



1. “Roosevelt” we yelled as we walked up the block to arrive at a school that wasn’t ours. Your opening grabs my attention because right away I knew your story would contain action.

2. You did uses vivid phrases in your story that created a word picture like; She was around the same size as me and had a chocolate comp lection. The cop wasn’t like the others he was so fat he had to weigh over three hundred pounds. And We finally arrived at the station and we were directed to walk on a straight line with our arms behind our backs.
3. You did use simple, direct and vivid verbs like; we yelled, running, ran and so many more.
4. My favorite part of the story was the end it’s good to know that you learned something from the experience
5. I feel that your narrative was good, no improvement needed.

Leo Mullen said...

my mom was fine after ths but she had tendencies to be with guys that weren't good to her and when I was six she died because of one them....Nelson